Hi there. Matt Barchetto here with another exciting automotive editorial that both of my readers will enjoy. Based on what I write about, clearly I had nothing to do for Valentine’s Day, so I interviewed every one of my teachers and asked them some questions about cars. Specifically their dream cars. Unfortunately, I can’t do teachers for every grade and every class, so I’m only interviewing some of the teachers I have this year that I could catch. Sorry, gang. Most teachers drove a Toyota, and most wanted to drive some sort of Corvette. For the stat nerds, the average teacher rates themselves at a 4.7/10 in terms of their car knowledge, and the mode* was 4. The median* is also 4.
Ms. Moleen:
Ms. Moleen is our only high school Latin teacher. She is adored by her students for her eccentricity and has fit right in with all 14 of her Latin III students. Latin is not a very popular language. She describes her knowledge of cars at a 4/10, putting her right in the middle of the road. She currently drives a Mazda3, a compact car made by, you guessed it, Mazda. Her dream car (after a little bit of interrogation) is a 2023 BMW M5. She wants a car that is practical, but still nice.
Mr. Feldman:
Mr. Feldman is by FAR the most unique teacher on this list. Feldman does not let anyone’s opinion stop him from doing what is right. He teaches AP Psychology currently and has (probably) trillions of stories of his many encounters with Psychology’s greats. He provides fun demos and relevant wacky stories, with quirks to fill in the gaps between lessons. He drives a Toyota Camry right now. His dream car is, (deep breath if you are reciting this), a sky blue 2024 Corvette E-Ray convertible with Bose surround sound speakers, plus a built-in GPS and DVD player accompanied by a collection of table tennis videos along with Bruce Springsteen songs, the car also coming with spigots to both the passenger and driver, the driver getting his choice of drinks, with the passenger getting “ice cold chocolate milk.” The driver in question is Mr. Pohlman. They will discuss philosophy and life (“if not listening to Bruce”) on a cross-country road trip to watch Major League Baseball games every night with seats behind home plate. By far the most specific and engaging entry on the list.
Mrs. Giurlando:
Mrs. Giurlando is our new school principal. She is a good leader and keeps things mellow. She said her knowledge of cars was also at a 4/10. Noticing a trend there. She drives an Infiniti Q50 right now and aspires to own a Fiat 500. Fiat is an underrated brand, honestly. I appreciate the representation. Don’t miss out on tiny cars, kids.
Mr. Milsovic
Mr. Milsovic is currently a high school English and public speaking teacher. He is revered for his oddities, such as his many catchphrases like “holy shnikies!” and “Handsome DiCaprio.” He is a kind and endearing gentleman, who will always be there for you in your time of need. He drives the mighty Honda Passport Trailsport Edition and additionally has a 1985 Porsche 928S under construction in his garage. He dreams of owning a 1984 Ferrari 308, taking inspiration from the show Magnum P.I.
*Look it up
Mr. Pohlman:
Mr. Pohlman is a high school US history teacher, who currently teaches my Honors US I class, and many more. He is widely regarded for his snarky sense of humor and catchphrases such as “this will be fun.” He is one of few teachers I can talk cars with, clearly shown by his self-evaluation of 7/10 on his car smarts. He currently drives the mighty Toyota Corolla, and his “blank check” dream car is a black 1967 C2 Corvette Stingray coupe with a 427 cubic inch engine and a red stinger on the hood. Specific, but the man knows his stuff. He was first captivated by the Corvette when his neighbor pulled into his driveway with a brand new Corvette back in 1980.
